Today is my birthday! So what does a nerdy teacher do on her birthday? Give a benchmark test and clean up vomit!
Yep, today my kids had to take a benchmark math test…all. day. long. Booo. At about 9:30 one of my students raised her hand and said, “Miss, my stomach hurts.”
Confession: I rarely let my kids go to the nurse. I found out very quickly my first year of teaching that kids inexplicably get sick during tests and during any other undesirable activity. Basically, no blood, no vomit, no fever–no nurse pass! (Of course I make exceptions…usually I’m pretty good at dividing the really sick kids from the fakers) To ward of my constant complainers I have a bag of tricks to cure almost any complaint, and it works 87% of the time!
Cures from the Classroom
Bottle of Lotion: Cures: Itches, redness, invisible skin ailments. Me: Here, put some lotion on it.
Wet Paper Towel: Cures: “Sprained” [body part], headache, anything that “hurts”, jammed, slammed or stepped on fingers, itches, redness, invisible skin ailments– can be used with the lotion if necessary.
Vaseline (the tube kind): Chapped lips, can be used interchangeably with the lotion.
Band-aids: Cures: Minor scrapes, paper cuts, or if the previous solutions don’t work.
Drinking Fountain: Cures: Stomach ache, Sore throat, cough, hiccups, general not feeling good.
“Do you need to go to the bathroom?”: Cures: Stomach ache, general not feeling good
Trash can by desk: Cures: Stomach aches
Cough Drops (Make sure you get the “yucky” flavors: Cherry, original or menthol): Cures: Coughs (duh :)
Lay your head down for a minute: Cures: Any of the above.
**NOTE: If a students clearly is hurt or sick I always let them go to the nurse!**
Ok, back to my story. This student looked like she felt yucky, so I told her to get a drink and gave her a pillow to lay her head down. A few minutes later…Blaaahhh! All over my pillow, the desk and then in a bucket I had set by her desk! Ewwww.
Our custodian doesn’t come in until noon. It was 9:30 with a classroom full of students trying to take a benchmark. Birthday or no birthday, I had to clean up that vomit. And, sadly it was one of these pillows that I made this summer…Pillow–>Trash. Oh well…
And to close off that kind of gross story, I just have to share this birthday card: